WHY BROKEN FRIENDSHIPS HURT

 Broken friendships can be painful for a number of reasons. First and foremost, friendships are often based on mutual trust, support, and connection. When a friendship ends, it can feel like a betrayal of that trust and support, which can be very emotionally painful. Friendships are often built over time through shared experiences and memories. When a friendship ends, it can feel like a loss of all those shared experiences and memories. We lose the person we were with them and as a matter of fact feels like part of us being cut off.

New friendships are often made from stories. Whenever you meet someone new, that person may ask you, “So what’s your story?” Even when it’s not directly said, it’s an unspoken question. We tell pieces of our life stories to each other, and you will realize that most of these stories revolves around old friends. Those that we are still in touch with, or we've lost along the way and those that passed away. 

That's why there is a saying "you can't make old friends." Old friendships are rooted in shared experiences that accumulate over time. When you tell something of your story to a new friend, you are saying something akin to “Here’s who I am." But when we spend time with old friends and tell remembered stories, we’re doing something different. We aren’t communicating information; we’re reliving our experiences. We’re saying things like “Can you believe we got to see that?” or “Can you believe we survived that?” or “Don’t you miss that?” or “Aren’t you glad that’s over?”

I've had people spoken to me about the pain of broken friendships in their lives. Sometimes those friendships were split apart by politics, for some, the friendship fractured over some kind of church split. For others, the friendship blew up in the fury of argument. In some cases, the friendship simply fizzled out. Some friends just couldn’t cobble together enough shared stories anymore. Whatever the reason, broken friendships hurt.

Another reason that broken friendships can be painful is that they often involve a sense of rejection or abandonment. It can be hard to understand why a friend would choose to end the friendship, and this can lead to feelings of insecurity or self-doubt. They often leave a void in our lives. Friends are an important source of support, companionship, and fun, and losing that can be very difficult to navigate.

Sometimes these friendships end not because you are not good enough or they are also not good enough. In many cases, there’s nothing you can do about that. But there is one thing you can do: Thank God for new friends and keep making them. And while you do, hold on with gratitude to those old friendships, to the people with whom you share stories. Consider calling them. Perhaps say out loud, “I love you” even when it’s awkward. 

Take the time to retell old stories with those friends who will know exactly what you mean when you say, “Remember when…?” Never hate anyone or be bitter about whatever that happened. Keep love alive and let's love ourselves as Christ loved us. 

Let it point you to the shortness of life and beyond that one day all that was broken will be mended and all that we have lost will be found. I suppose we will all feel like old friends then. And as we look forward to the ever-expanding glory of eternity, we might catch each other’s eye as we look backward just for a moment to say, “We made it."