WHY MANY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL

 Many things happen in relationships that makes people question the love their partners have for them as they transition from the first stage of romantic love into the second stage which I call it the REALITY STAGE as I said in my earlier post "BEING IN LOVE DOESN'T LAST FOREVER".

In this stage of romantic love, you discover that what makes you feel loved does not necessarily make your partner feel loved. This means in the communication of love; you miss each other since none of you really understand what makes the other feel loved.

Example, you buy her gifts to express your love to her, but she doesn't see that as love. She rather prefers you spending quality time with her as an expression of love. 

Evidently what you see as an expression of love (your love language) is not the same as what she sees as an expression of love (her love language).

Yes, there is a language of love and that is what we will briefly look at today. For more details on this read THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGE by GARY CHAPMAN.

Everyone has a primary love language/an expression of love which communicates to him/her emotionally deeply than the others. This is one of the many things because of our ignorance has ruined many beautiful relationships. The first love language to look at is 

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

This love language uses word to affirm the other person

• It may focus on the other person's personality or the way they look or something they have done for you or others.
• To express this love language, you look for things you admire or appreciate about the person and verbally express your admiration.

If the person's love language is this, he or she will melt like an ice cream.

Example, 

• I love the way you smile
• You look beautiful in that dress

QUALITY TIME

Is a love language that focuses on giving the other person your undivided attention. Having alone time with them without any form of destructions, just the both of you.

Example,

• Making time to spend a weekend together

It could be a dinner, a walk or anything that will keep the two of you together focused on yourselves without any destructions.

ACTS OF SERVICE

For those who speaks this love language, they believe actions speaks louder than words. To them if you give them a word of affirmation like "I love you", they will be like "If you love me, show me by helping me out with something"

Example,

• Washing of the dishes
• Doing the laundry
• Helping around with anything.....

PHYSICAL TOUCH

Appropriate touch is loving to those who speak this love language. Nothing speaks deeper to them than this. 

Example,

• They always want to be holding hands with you 
• Hugging is their thing
• They love to have a physical contact with you

RECEIVING GIFTS

Those who speak this love language feel loved when they receive gifts from you. Your gifts communicate deeper to them than anything. It tells them you think about them and have their interests at heart, and they mean so much to you.

The best way to communicate best with this love language is to know the things they appreciate and interest them. Your knowledge about this will give you the opportunity to know what to get them and when to get them the gift you intend to give them.